Psycho-Pass and a Wish for a Life with Everything on a Silver Platter

PsychoPassAvatarMaid

This is a personal post.

I have never had any goals in my entire life. I have never had anything I truly dreamed to become when I grew up. For me, life just sort of “was”. The closest thing to a goal would be doing my best in school and get good grades.

When I entered high school I joined the social science programme (and later chose the economic orientation) because it is an education which unlocks many options for later studies on university level. The only reason I chose it was because I did not want to study something more specialized to later find out it was not my thing. Besides, if you do not have proper and broad high school education you will not be able to study on university level anyway.

As I studied I thought of what I wanted to do with my life and what I wanted to become. I was somewhat interested in trying out computer programming since I like fiddling with stuff, but it was not something I burned for. In addition, my talents (such as logical thinking, writing and finding faults) are rather useless and not helpful when it comes to deciding my future. It is not like I am awesome in football and have the ability to pursue a career in that area.

PsychoPassClothes

When I reached my third and final year in high school I was starting to become more desperate. Graduating high school results in many things as you probably know. It is the time where you gradually become more independent.

A whole new world of opportunities opens up before your very eyes.

There are endless choices and only you can make them.

The day I graduated high school was not filled with as much joy and feeling of freedom as others. While I was obviously very happy I had graduated (with top-notch grades at that!), I could not stop thinking of my future.

Before that very day I had followed a straight path with my whole life laid out in front of me. While there were choices, none of them could affect my entire life. It was simply going from A to B to C (aka going through school). A safe zone.

But now there were too many choices to make.

All while I had no clue about what path I wanted to tread.

PsychoPassHouse

Enter today. As of now I have only studied Japanese on university level, but in the coming weeks I will be trying out computer programming and journalism to see if anything appeals to me. Most likely I will have to drop out of the latter, since it seems too demanding to study while having other courses at the same time. This means I will have to wait until fall in case computer programming turns out to suck, thus delaying my “real” university studies even longer.

This is why the seemingly automatized life in Psycho-Pass is so attractive to me. There is no risk of stressing yourself to death by not knowing what you want to become. No, instead there is a system which decides the job most suited for you personally. In a sense, it is like extending the safe zone. You go from A to B to C and now also to D.

It is life on a silver platter.

PsychoPassVirtualReality

At the moment this is something I would do almost anything to have, even if it were only the tiniest bit. Just so I would know what I want to do or at least be good at. Because right now my entire life is in a sort of status quo where I only test different university courses in hope of finding anything fun. The more I think of it the more painful it becomes, especially when I think of myself moving out. I do not want to do it unless I know what I want become, but what if I never come up with anything?

I overthink stuff.

I overanalyze things.

I make a mountain out of a molehill.

But it is hard not to since this is a really important part of my life.

For this reason I cannot help but wish for that particular part of Psycho-Pass to be real.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Psycho-Pass and a Wish for a Life with Everything on a Silver Platter

  1. Cholisose says:

    This is a dilemma that I think has really only been around for maybe a century or two. For most of history, people’s lives have been more or less decided for them from the very onset. This provided a lot of stability for a community, but on the flip side there wasn’t much freedom for anyone. (e.g. Parents work on the farm all day every day their whole lives–so will you, and so will your children, and their children, etc.)
    But nowadays we generally don’t work on farms, and most of us don’t carry on “the family business.” Few of us get married at age 14-19. Most of us move out of our parents’ home once we’re done with high school (save perhaps in times of recession!). There are a lot of choices for us to make now, but that doesn’t guarantee your future lifestyle will be either “fitting” or enjoyable. Many of us aren’t sure what we’d like to do, or can’t find something we’re particularly good at. And even when we *do* know (or at least think we know!), the fact is the world seems to just keep getting more and more competitive, as advanced education and specialized skills in our chosen fields are almost always held by hundreds (or thousands) of other people already.
    In the end, I suppose you just have to choose something and give it your very best shot. I also was always the type to focus on school and grades, but now I look back and feel I should have gone about my life with different focuses in mind. What’s done is done though! It may actually be pretty normal for people though to change their aspirations in life many times over the years, for good and for ill.

  2. hilarypham says:

    i agree with you, that sort of life would be pretty interesting to actually exist and with all the worries that im having, lately that kind of lifestyle seems really good. loved you post!

  3. Tinky says:

    I hate this society where you have to know what you want to learn (or to be) at the age of 16 y.o. In France, when your first year in highschool is over, you have to choose between three directions: literary, scientific, economic. During your second year you have to find obligatory a college where you would like to study — and in your third year, you have not even three months to end your project.
    For someone like me who is uncertain about the future, it’s hard to study like that. I almost spent 5 years in highschool — I always had good grades but the problem was the oppressive atmosphere of the place.

    “What do you want to be? Where do you want to study later?”, I hate those questions. I’ll be who I want. Just let me think.

  4. Well, if that gives you any consolation, it’s better that you are confused now and you’ve got the chance to try things, than graduating from a specific area, start working and then finding out this isn’t the thing for you… I’m in a situation like this and I feel quite trapped, which I assure you, it sucks. When you are expected to bring in some income and your situation requires you to be finally independent, the clock is ticking only forwards faster and faster. I really don’t know what I want to do in my life and with this comes along embarassment and fear.

    I understand the wish for such a system to exist, but having a central government make a decision for me is… creepy and manipulative the least, What should be better organized is a realistic and practical job orientation from psychologists in schools. A program that shows not only our character traits and strengths, but also allows us to get to know what studies are required and how the actual job is about by visiting the “crime scene”. It should also be made easier to change jobs, if you find yourself suffocating under a wrong choice.

  5. Slashe says:

    Psycho Pass is an allegory for many things. Your post now makes me think of the whole society presented in PP as life of someone from a wealthy family.

    Despite being born into wealth and abundance, given a career path and psychological guidance, people under the Sibyl system just aren’t happy, because they have little to no free choice. Being in constant fear of straying from the path despite wanting to free themselves from the system causes them to self-destruct or live a hollow miserable existence. Just like how many children are slowly being crushed under their parent’s hopes and ambitions for them while others like Akane just place unquestioned trust in the judgement given to them. Kogami is the prodigal son, Makishima would be the dastardly son that pulled the wool over his and others’ parents. Ginoza would then represent the everyman, striving for the best while still having doubts about the system. And the Dominator is of course the Dadhammer. I could go on and on about this allegory, but I’m currently too sleepy for it.

    Still, to your issue, many of us are also unsure in what path to take in our lives, so I’ll just say this: Try to find what inspires you, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in. They could be subjects, people, music, stories, environments or desires. That might put you closer to finding your path. Or watch Honey and Clover. That helps too.

  6. Alan Zabaro says:

    I don’t know that Psycho-Pass gives you your destiny – after all, Akane chose her position, the system just helped her identify what she’s qualified to do, and she clearly has some doubts about the decision she made, at least early on.

    Anyway, as someone who graduated from university well over a decade ago, I can say that the doubt is kind of natural. I made a lucky first guess for a major (Computer Science), and found out in the course of the first year that it seemed like an uncannily perfect fit for me. But if it hadn’t worked that way – specifically, if I’d been going through any of the introductory classes and been bored by the topics – I would’ve switched gears without looking back. A friend started off on a pre-med track, first in biological engineering, then just in biology, and eventually he found his true calling (in his 4th year!) in bio-informatics, the statistical analysis of biological information. These days he works for the Naval Health Research Center modeling the movement and transmission of diseases in a purely mathematical sense. But his degree is in Biology. My brother is currently a programmer and reads about computer science much more actively than I do, but when he entered college he was torn between Humanities, Philosophy, and Linguistics; he decided on the last only because I suggested the heuristic of “first try the major that has the largest number of entry-level courses that interest you.” He graduated with a degree in Linguistics because the courses caught his interest.

    I think that’s the key really, finding what can hold your interest. At this point in your life you probably haven’t had in-depth training in anything, which is why you can’t quite tell what you’re really good at – you’re more or less equally talented in a number of things; it will take instruction and practice to develop skills, and the only way you’ll be able to put in the time and effort is if the field is something you find rewarding. I wouldn’t worry about trying to intuit what you’re meant to do anymore than you’d expect a newborn to walk; trying out various paths and abandoning some, falling down even along the paths you stick to – I think that’s a necessary part of defining what you’re meant to do. That’s probably the most important thing I’ve learned as a programmer – people almost never know what they want in any well-defined sense, they need to refine even their desires by iteration. Destiny is a post-hoc narrative we impose on the process.

    So I guess I’d say: go ahead and be uncertain, but try not to agonize over it. If something doesn’t interest you for a term, what would it be like to build a career on it? Don’t try to find out the hard way – try something else instead.

  7. Anime Emily says:

    I can actually relate quite well to your situation in high school. I’m currently in my junior year of high school, and, despite having a few childish “dreams” every now and then, feel a bit lost and desperate now that I find myself scrambling to try and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. The bigness of the world, I suppose you could say, quite honesty, scares me because, like you said, there are just so many choices, and the structured path I’ve been trotting along is going to suddenly disappear in a little over a year. It seems like all of my friends have these set dreams and goals for their futures while I’m sitting around, taking personality/career tests and trying to come up with a feasible dream or goal myself.

    Although looming future worries me, to say the least, I think I’m content to remain thoughtfully indecisive for a little longer. I’m not going to agonize over my future because doing that isn’t going to help the situation at all. I think (aka really hope) in time I’ll find something that I’ll be happy to pursue and devote myself to. In the mean time, I’m happy to draw, blog, read, and keep working for those good grades.

    Though it may not sound like much coming from someone who’s younger and not in your situation, don’t stress too much because I’m sure you’re exploration will eventually bear success, and you’ll find something that you burn for. You’ll definitely become something; you just have to wait a bit.

  8. Nopy says:

    Your story reminds me a lot about when I was going through grade school. Everything had always been laid out in front of me and I always accepted it as they were, until one day in grade 9. Everyone always said I was one of the top students in the school, but I wasn’t satisfied with that, I wanted a challenge and a setting to prove my abilities. I applied to the toughest high school in the country despite my parents’ objections.

    I graduated high school near the bottom of my class because I was competing with some of the top students in the country, but I think it was the best decision I ever made. Why? because when you reach for the stars, even if you fall, you will be much higher than when you started. I owe having a good job and lifelong friends that can get me out of any jam to that decision I made 10 years ago.

    Trying to find work that is “fun” usually doesn’t get people very far, and turning something you find fun into work will make you hate it after a few years. My advice is to pick something that you can be proud of and stick with it, even if it’s difficult. Would you be more proud of yourself if you were a successful journalist, or a successful programmer? Are you prepared to live through hell to get there? I think that’s what you need to ask yourself.

  9. Marow says:

    I’m sorry for not replying to you all individually, but I don’t have anything to add besides what you have said.

    I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts. It has been helpful and given me some food for thought.

    Once again.

    Thank you! 🙂

  10. […] related to writing, despite being nearly impossible in today’s climate, is the largest reason. In a life without any goals, the least I figured I could do was to test a crazy idea of sharing my posts on another […]

  11. […] Viking’s post on yearning for the decision-free universe of Psycho Pass is still just as enticing a year […]

What Do You Think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s