It should not be surprise by now, but as you may have noticed, I have not really been an active blogger for about a month now. There are a number of reasons for this, some of them being silly moments of questioning my blogging capabilities, but the main reason is that I simply do not find it fun to write anymore. This, coupled with the fact I also received the very sweet bonus of suddenly finding it hard to write, has really worked against the existence of my blog. When it is neither fun, nor easy, resulting in a lack of motivation, there really is no reason to even force myself (I have tried), as everything that comes out will be half-hearted.
With this in mind, I humbly announce Anime Viking’s first hiatus.
I started feeling this problem as early as in April, but I tried my best to continue creating posts, which resulted in some experimental Aniblog Tourney posts. I tried my best to keep the façade up, but as time went on, it eventually resulted in where I stand today. It would be very easy to put the blame on the last push in school before graduation, terrorizing me with tons of essays, and while that may very well be the reason, I think the problem lies in me.
You see, I somewhat have high expectations of myself, which sometimes have resulted in me completely unnecessarily trying too hard. Sadly, this continued to build up during school, as I wanted to have high grades for the sake of my future. Normally, this would not be a problem, but when I feel like I have to perform better with each subsequent exercise I receive, it ends in a malfunctioning brain. With no clear idea of what level I should put myself on, I kept on climbing higher and higher. This was my first mistake.
My second mistake was blogging. In addition to school, I had to focus on churning out posts every week, which was an additional stress factor. As the wonders of the blogosphere started to open before my very eyes, I also started comparing myself with others, in many ways feeling inferior in both language and ideas. While I cannot say I created the most high-quality posts, I put a higher and higher pressure on myself with each new one I did.
Or, in other words: stress, stress, stress.
It was not a sustainable situation, but I had to deal with it until graduation.
So with each new day, I slowly started to lose my ability to write.
Now that I have graduated, one week ago in fact, I will just relax. Relax as much as I can and recover my calm. Currently, I am in a gaming frenzy, which is another great pleasure of mine. Watching anime is pretty fun too. Anything in relation to the blogosphere, though? Not so much. I do not blog myself. I do not even read other blogs or vote in the Aniblog Tourney at the moment. It just comes off as dull.
This will probably be all over in a month at most, which is a very long time for a hiatus, but it will have to do. I cannot honestly say this occurred at a very convenient time, especially concerning some of the ideas I had on evolving Anime Viking, but no can do. In the meantime, why not read the blogs I have in my blogroll? There are some really great and “not well-known enough” ones in there. While you go do that, I will plan my triumphal return.
I hope this simple break will do.